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> The Power of Being Nice, Conquer the world with ''nicenessness''

Freedom Fighter
Group: Members
Posts: 579
Member No.: 470

Posted: Mar 23 2007, 03:55 PM
Quote Post
Hi All ..

I just loved this article ..
and try to practice ''nicenessness'' ( my wordplay. lol.gif )as often as I can ..
It DOES work .. esp with people over the fone ... and people at counters ..

I started to make a concerted effort in this dept years ago after an angry
encounter with a cabbie .. ( my bad ) .. pissed.gif

My friend who was travelling with me at the time said ...
Ya know Nod .. "ya catch more flies with honey ..rather than vinegar "
for some reason .. it actually penetrated my conciousness and the metaphor
delivered it old wisdom ... shock.gif

The Power of Being Nice: How to Conquer the World With Kindness

Principle #1
Positive impressions are like seeds.
Every time you smile at a messenger, laugh at a coworker's joke, thank an assistant, or treat a stranger with graciousness and respect, you throw off positive energy. That energy makes an impression on the other person that, in turn, is passed along to and imprinted on the myriad others he or she meets. Such imprints have a multiplier effect. And ultimately, those favorable impressions find their way back to you.
You may not ever be able to trace your good fortune back to a specific encounter, but it is a mathematical certainty that the power of nice lays the groundwork for many opportunities down the road. These positive impressions are like seeds.

Principle #2
You never know.
When we meet strangers on the street, we usually assume they aren't important to us. We often avoid contact with the woman sitting next to us on the train or maybe even race ahead to beat her to a cab as we exit the station. The thinking is, "She's just some woman who has nothing to do with my life. Getting the cab is more important than being nice to her."

But how do you know that? This woman could be the sister of your boss. Or a real estate agent who knows of a home in your dream neighborhood. Or the head of a foundation that could give your fledgling charity the backing it desperately needs. The bottom line is, this woman is important to many people. You have to treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world-- because they are. If not to you, then to someone; and if not today, then perhaps tomorrow.

Principle #3
People change.
One common mistake people make is assuming that you only have to be nice to your peers and their superiors. There's no need to be nice to an assistant or receptionist, much less a security guard or a cleaning person. After all, they can't do anything for you--they have no power.

That may or may not be true--now. But you have no idea who might become quite important to you ten, twenty, or thirty years from now.

Principle #4
Nice must be automatic.
A friend recently told us the story of three consulting companies vying for a very large contract. One was summarily dropped, even though the firm did a terrific presentation.

Why? they wondered. It turned out that when the prospective client arrived at the airport, an executive from one of the consulting firms neglected to help with her bags. He lost the contract right there. She was miffed at his rudeness and lack of manners, and decided that she didn't want to do business with them. Here their team had worked day and night to give the client a knockout presentation, and the entire account was lost over a suitcase.

The negligent executive certainly knew the client was a VIP. So why didn't he pick up the bag? Simple: He wasn't skilled in the art of being nice. If it had been part of the way he treated everyone, the oversight never would have occurred. Picking up the bag for the client would have been second nature, instead of a once-in-a-while gesture granted only to clients and bosses and other important people. He would have understood that such small gestures and actions can have an enormous impact.

Principle #5
Negative impressions are like germs.
Just as positive actions are like seeds, rude gestures and remarks are like germs--you may not see the impact they have on you for a while, but they are there, silently infecting you and everyone around you.

Not spreading germs means being extremely conscientious about your environment and the people around you. Because even a simple misunderstanding can create a negative impression.

Principle #6
You will know.
Even if you never see a person you have treated badly again, even if no one sees or knows of your rudeness or bad behavior, you will know. It will be in your mind and heart when you walk into a meeting and try to convince the people in the room that they should put their faith in you. Because you won't believe in yourself, you could jeopardize the outcome of a meeting or relationship.

The power of nice is not about running around manically smiling and doing everyone's bidding, all the while calculating what you'll get in return. It's not about being phony or manipulative. It's about valuing niceness--in yourself and in others--the same way you respect intelligence, beauty, or talent. Niceness is a powerful force. In fact, it can literally save your life.

Every day for the next week, do five nice things that have no immediate payoff for you. Say thank you to others. Ask those you meet about their lives. Does your cleaning woman have grandchildren? Donate money to charity. Compliment a stranger.

The point of this is not to imagine that the cabdriver you are generously tipping will someday run a major corporation. It is to simply get into the habit of being nice--and rediscover how good that makes you feel.

Most of us don't mean to be inconsiderate. We're just so busy starring in our own movie that we forget that everyone else is starring in theirs. That's why it's extremely important to see yourself as others do--as the supporting actor in their movie. So do an inventory of all the people in your life, and ask yourself what kind of character you'd play in their movie. Are you the loving, doting grown daughter or the distracted, absentee one? The sweet, supportive boyfriend or the needy, selfish one? The office troubleshooter or the drama queen? For each relationship, write down five ways that you can make your "character" more sympathetic.

Do you admire people who do volunteer work? Who reach out to family members and make plans to do things together? Who admire and mentor others at work? Who ask about and remember the details of the lives of clients and colleagues? Complete this statement: If I were a better person, I would . . .

Try to model your behavior on that of the person you would like to be.

Adapted from a book by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval

Happiness is GOOD .. loveshower.gif

This post has been edited by Nodstar on Mar 23 2007, 04:11 PM

user posted image"In PuPP We Trust" user posted image
PMEmail Poster

Freedom Fighter
Group: Members
Posts: 579
Member No.: 470

Posted: Mar 24 2007, 05:05 PM
Quote Post
Hi all ..
I finally found the link and a bit more info on the book that the above excerpt came from ..

The Power of Nice
How to Conquer the Business World With Kindness
Written by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval
Business & Economics | Currency | Hardcover | September 2006 | $17.95| 978-0-385-51892-5 (0-385-51892-7)

About this Book

Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval have moved to the top of the advertising industry by following a simple but powerful philosophy: it pays to be nice. Where so many companies encourage a dog eat dog mentality, the Kaplan Thaler Group has succeeded through chocolate and flowers. In The Power of Nice, through their own experiences and the stories of other people and businesses, they demonstrate why, contrary to conventional wisdom, nice people finish first.

Turning the well-known adage of “Nice Guys Finish Last” on its ear, The Power of Nice shows that “nice” companies have lower employee turnover, lower recruitment costs, and higher productivity. Nice people live longer, are healthier, and make more money. In today’s interconnected world, companies and people with a reputation for cooperation and fair play forge the kind of relationships that lead to bigger and better opportunities, both in business and in life.

Kaplan Thaler and Koval illustrate the surprising power of nice with an array of real-life examples from the business arena as well as from their personal lives. Most important, they present a plan of action covering everything from creating a positive impression to sweetening the pot to turning enemies into allies. Filled with inspiration and suggestions on how to supercharge your career and expand your reach in the workplace, The Power of Nice will transform how you live and work.

“This little book will show you why women should run most corporations in America, and maybe the entire country. Reading Nice will improve just about everything in your life, and that’s a promise.”
—James Patterson, bestselling author, former CEO of J. Walter Thompson North America

“The Power of Nice is a wonder drug! It could literally save your career and your life…. And let me suggest a first act of kindness: buy some extra copies for your enemies. I’ll bet they need The Power of Nice more than you do.”
—Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone, the bestselling book on building relationships for success

“Leo Durocher was wrong! Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval’s The Power of Nice is the antidote to our increasingly mean-spirited culture. I’m going to send a copy to every political campaign consultant I know.”
—Arianna Huffington

“In negotiation, the cheapest concession you can make is to be nice. And the returns can be high, as Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval show in this delightfully readable primer packed with practical advice and entertaining stories. I recommend it with pleasure!”
—William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of The Power of a Positive No (2007).

“For my money, I would always rather make a deal with people I like who treat me well. If you want to discover the surprising power of nice, read this book. Memorize it. Use it. You’ll be glad you did.”
—Donald Trump

Author Biography

LINDA KAPLAN THALER is the CEO and chief creative officer and ROBIN KOVAL is the president of the Kaplan Thaler Group. Ranked as the fastest growing advertising agency in the United States by leading industry publications, with over a billion dollars in billings, the agency has won thirteen Clio Awards. Kaplan Thaler and Koval are the coauthors of the national bestseller, Bang! They live in the New York metropolitan area.

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Hope this helps ...

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